How To Tell Family You’re Eloping

While you’re debating on the best way to share the exciting news of your elopement with your loved ones, know that you’re not alone. A lot of people struggle with how to tell their friends and family that they’ve made the choice to elope. Whether you want to elope with just the two of you, or simply limit your guest list and cut back on invitations, communicating your choice to friends and family can feel a little daunting. It’s not always the easiest conversation to have if you feel like your family might not understand your choice.

So the first and most important thing to remember is that your wedding day is only meant for you and your partner. Nobody is owed a piece of your celebration and nobody has the inherent “right” to attend or participate in your wedding outside of you two. Your wedding day is a celebration of your love story, and you need to do what feels right and aligned for you. When your loved ones see how much you enjoyed your wedding day, they will understand why you made this decision.

The first choice to make now is whether or not you are going to share your plans with everyone in advance, or if you would rather elope quietly and announce your union in a fun way after the fact.

Telling Them Before You Elope

When sharing your decision with friends and family, it is best to talk to them in a way where they can see your face (either in person or on Facetime). This way, they can actually see your excitement. When your joy and excitement is written in your face and your body language, that is contagious and they will be able to share that feeling with you. Seeing that this decision was intentional and thought out for you can help them see how much you’re looking forward to it.

It also gives you the chance to talk about the reasons why you decided to elope. View the blog post Reasons to Elope for some common points to share with friends and family.

Sharing the news before your elopement also gives you the chance ot include your loved ones in the planning process. This can help them feel like they are still involved in your day on some level. Often, the misplaced feelings that can portray a negative attitude toward your choice stems from family feeling like they were somehow excluded from your decision or neglected. Being a part of the planning process allows them to feel joy in sharing a piece of your experience.

Working together on the details prior to your elopement (like taking a few of your closest friends dress or suit shopping, or asking them to help you look into vendors) can keep them involved if they are willing and excited to help. It also gives them a chance to see that eloping is a conscious and intentional decision that you’re making, see exactly why this is the right decision for you on your wedding day.

Telling Them After You Elope

If you wait until after your elopement, there are tons of creative elopement announcements that you may consider to make your announcement a fun surprise for your friends and family.

You can send out “save-the-date” style cards that actually announce your elopement (visit my Pinterest board: Elopement Announcements for a bunch of these examples). This can be in the form of a normal card, or include your elopement photos to share a glimpse of your day.

I recommend sharing photos or a video from your wedding whenever possible when you share the news. This way, you can share your epic experience and all of the activities that you decided to fill your day with. It also may be a wonderful way to portray the pure joy that you felt when you celebrated your marriage.

One of my favorite stories I’ve heard was a couple that invited their loved ones to an engagement party where they showed a compilation of videos from when they were dating. As the videos got further into their love story, it transitioned into their elopement video. Nobody at the party knew about this, and it was a huge surprise for their loved ones. Everyone was so excited for them, and spent the rest of the evening celebrating the newlyweds in a more casual-style party than a traditional wedding.

There are so many ways to make your elopement unique, and share the excitement with your friends and family even if they are not physically present on your elopement day. If you’re looking to plan the perfect intimate day for you, I’d love to help you! Contact me to get started planning your elopement, and photograph your best day and all of its moments. That way, when it comes time to share your photos with loved ones, they can see every detail and you can share your joy.