Definition of Elopement

Googling Elopement

When defining the word “elope,” there is a common misconception that an elopement means a couple running off to Vegas and getting hitched by an officiant who is dressed like Elvis, or a shotgun wedding with awkward pictures outside of a courthouse. Hell, even the dictionary definition alludes to a day that is secretive and maybe a little shameful.

If you google Elopement Definition right now, webster claims that it is “run away secretly in order to get married, especially without parental consent.” But honestly, this is an outdated and inaccurate definition.

There are a ton of myths about eloping, but please allow me to shatter all of that misinformation, and tell you that’s not what a modern elopement means. Not even close.

The Definition of Elopement in 2024

Now, making the decision to elope is all about creating an intimate and authentic wedding experience for you and your love, especially with a sense of adventure and romance. It means that you’ve decided to step out of the box and opt out of the stiff wedding day traditions that didn’t feel like you. Instead, you are making the intentional decision to design a wedding day where your relationship is the main focus.

Elopement allows you to completely customize your wedding experience and throw away the “rulebook” that comes with traditional weddings. Instead of following the standard wedding outline, you can do almost anything you want to exchange your vows. This means the timeline and activities can be more creative, and you can enjoy your favorite activities together or plan a new adventure.

A lot of couples find this a more fitting way to celebrate with each other. You can quite literally shout your love from the mountaintops on a sunrise hike. Or if a fireside cabin picnic and first dance in the snow is more your style, that is perfect for an elopement experience.  Want to say your vows on the beach at sunset while the waves wash up on your feet? Explore a historic castle in Ireland moors, or take an off-road Jeep tour to a secluded corner of the world? You can make it happen. If you’re looking for more creative ideas to include in your elopement, the post Elopement Activity Ideas has a bunch of activities listed!

The Differences Between Weddings and Elopements

Weddings and elopements differ in a few categories, but the primary difference is the intention of the event. While weddings follow a traditional series of events and often focus on entertaining guests, elopements don’t have rules or an outline to follow. They are intimate events designed entirely around the couple.

Lower guest count, more unique activities, and allocation of budget are a few more telling differences between weddings and elopements. To dive into the details, you can check out the post The Differences Between Elopements and Microweddings. This post goes into detail on the biggest markers between the two, as well as creative ways to join the two together, so you can experience a romantic adventure with your lover AND the reception celebration with friends and family.

Including Guests in Your Elopement

One of the biggest elopement myths is that you cannot include guests. That’s totally false. Guests can absolutely be included in your elopement, whether they are physically present to celebrate, write letters that you read after vows, or facetime to join you in your activities. I’ve seen elopements that include up to 15 guests surrounding the couple who cheer and dance when they share their first kiss.

I’ve also seen couples elope with just the two of them and have just as fulfilling of a wedding experience. In fact, there are a few states where you can self-solemnize, which means to legally marry each other and sign without the third party officiant or judge. (These states currently include: Colorado, California, District of Columbia, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin.) Many elopement professionals (myself included) also have a license to sign as your officiant if you want an experience with just the two of you.

Myths About Eloping

Because the modern idea of elopement is still yet to be widely known, there are  a lot of misconceptions that surround eloping couples. The idea of eloping being a “selfish way to get married” is just plain untrue. Let me debunk a few of these for you, and take a look at the blog post Crushing Common Elopement Myths for all of the details.

Elopement Pros and Cons

PRO: YOUR DAY IS ALL ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Most eloping couples make this decision because it allows them to be completely present with their partner and avoid concerns about other people or entertaining guests. You can create an experience that is unique to any other wedding and plan your activities around things you love to do, or things you’ve always wanted to do. You could even combine your elopement and honeymoon and make it one big trip!

PRO: LESS STRESS AND DRAMA

There is a lot of stress that comes along with a big wedding, from a long planning process to creating a guest list. When you start a list that includes everyone you know, or everyone you think you “should” invite, you can go from your closest loved ones to 300 people really quickly. (Think “if we invite ___, we have to invite ___“ and handing out plus ones).

A general rule of thumb: the more people and personalities in one place, the more potential for drama. Get rid of the stress by limiting your guest list to just the few people closest to you or even nobody at all.

PRO: Sustainability

Did you know that the average wedding produces 4 HUNDRED pounds of trash? That is a huge amount of waste for one event. Eloping is a sustainable way to have an awesome wedding experience. I also inform all of my couples about Leave No Trace policies to make sure we leave your elopement location as beautiful as we find it.

PRO: Budget

While the average cost of a wedding is over $33,000, the average cost of elopements ranges between $5,000-15,000. This doesn’t mean every elopement is cheaper, but the average is less than half of the budget!

PRO: Avoid the stress of wedding planning

Yes, you still need to plan ahead for an elopement, but it can be much more light and fun than organizing an event for hundreds of guests. Wedding planning can feel like a production, and elopement planning is a different experience.

I feel like these are barely scratching the surface, so for a complete list of major elopement benfits, view the post Reasons to Elope that includes even more.

Con: Unexpected Weather

While most adventure elopements occur outside, Mother Nature can always throw curveballs. Getting married outside always comes with the chance of storms. You may need to simply embrace bad weather, or have a backup plan in case you run into this.

Con: Missing family

If you decide to have a “just us” elopement, your loved ones might feel a little excluded. You can do your best to avoid this by being upfront and honest with them about why this was the best wedding decision for you. You can find more tips in the blog post How to Tell Family You’re Eloping.

Is eloping more “you”?

If you value intimate experiences and meaningful memories over material things or parties, eloping might be right up your alley. You probably don’t mind if your dress gets a little dirty or the wind messes up your hair, as long as there’s an epic adventure ahead and a great story after. I truly think there is no better way to celebrate a wild love than kick starting the rest of your life with a new adventure. It doesn’t mean that you want to invest any less into your wedding experience, but it means that as a couple your values lie differently than that of a traditional wedding-day party.

Eloping means you’ve chosen to have a wedding day that is uniquely crafted for the two of you. You want to celebrate your vows in a magical way, a way that feels infinitely right. Your elopement experience can be as one-of-a-kind as your love story.

You deserve to have a wedding day that is intentional. You deserve to have the experience that you’ve always wanted, even if it looks a little different. In fact, especially if it looks a little different. Be brave, and go against the grain. Be yourselves.

Ready to start planning your elopement? I’d love to help! Contact me to get started.